There was this really old guy at a tea dance, he hadn't had any sex for a long time. He'd been dancing with the grandmas all afternoon, but he still hadn't scored. Frustrated, he approached an old grandma and said, "Listen, I'm having no luck scoring a woman. How about coming back to my place for a piece?

I'll give you £20 if you oblige!"

"I'm willing, let's go," she said.

They arrived back at his place, and after a bit of foreplay, they headed for the bedroom. The old geezer loved the sex and couldn't get over how tight the old grandma was for such an old woman and thinks to himself surely she's got to be a virgin.

After the wonderful performance, he rolled over and said, "Wow! Lady, if I had known you were a virgin, I would have given you £50".

Surprised, she replied, "If I had known you were actually going to get an erection, I would have taken off my tights!"